大聯盟職棒的播報員（一）

我非常痛恨白襪的兩位固定播報員，哈瑞森和傑克森。
白襪的球員被三振他們的播報法是 "......"
然後白襪打出全壘打他們的播報法是哈瑞森叫 "You can put it on the booooard.... YES!" 傑克森在 YES! 的時候同時喊出來...
我的感想是.. WTF? 太嗨了吧。

第二痛恨的是天使的某位播報員（連名字都不想講）。
天使的球員被三振他的播報法是 "STRUCK HIM OUT!!!!" (請用非常激昂的講法)
天使被雙殺的話，他的播報法是 "WHAT A PLAY!!!" (還是要用很激昂的講法)
但是為什麼自己的雇主的特殊表現就不激昂甚至還降低音調呢？
fuck.

一張圖代表天使隊的風格

Taiwanese Nicknames for LA Angels Character

On PTT (a popular bulletin board in Taiwan), we Angels fans often rant about many Angels characters. It's alsonot a surprise that they all have some Taiwanese nickname. 以下是鄉民對天使相關人士的愛稱。Following are their nicknames.

吉祥物	Fan-give name	Explanation
Los Angeles Angels	小翅膀田徑隊(Shao-chi-bon-tien-jin-dwey, Track and Field Team with small cute wings), 猴子(Ho-je, monkey)	....
Arturo Moreno	Arte(Yes, we still call him Arte), 老闆(Lao-Bon, Boss)	無止盡的愛。Our love to you, Arte.
Rally Monkey	猴子(Ho-je, monkey), 逆轉猴(Nee-jwan-ho, rally monkey)	Very straight forward.
Panther	(n/a)	So far not many people in Taiwan read Halos Heaven
Rats	(n/a)	這是天使球場的老鼠，跟教練無關。Not too many people know about aramark.
Halo	光環(Gwan-Hwan, the halo)	球場旁的的光環塔，當日有贏球會亮燈慶祝。Light up that halo!
Three old men	三仙老公阿標	2006外野三個老鳥Anderson, Finley and Guerrero.
(To be determined)	哈比人	(To be determined)
叫哩粽ê出來帕	Fan-given name	Explanation
Mike Scioscia	縮夏(Shuo-Sha, sounds like Scioscia), 說瞎(Shuo-Sha, sounds like Scioscia, meaning like coaching blindly, only used with poor team performance.) also written as 說蝦, 希歐西亞(see-o-see-ah, wrong translation by ETToday, one of the worst media in Taiwan)	大多是在發音上作文章。Mostly just similar pronunciation.
Mickey Hatcher	米老鼠(Mee-Lao-Sue, Mickey Mouse)	跟球場老鼠無關。He is not related to Aramark Rats.
Tom Kotchman	烤雞爸(Coa-chi-Bah, Kotch's Father)	烤雞爸是我們喜歡的球探，而且也是烤雞人的爸爸！Tom Kotchman is a fan-favorite farm system scout. We love him because he signed many good prospects and is also Casey Kotchman's father.
Dr. Lewis Yocum	育康醫師(You-com-ee-shi, Dr. Yocum)	大聯盟手臂權威。
Ex-Angels Characters	Fan-given name	Explanation
Bill Stoneman	石頭人(Shi-toe-ran, Stoneman)	前總經理。
Bud Black	黑爺(Hey-yay, Most respectful Mr. Black)	前投手教練，我們對他也有無盡的愛。Our love to you, buddy.

Taiwanese Nicknames for LA Angels Fielders

On PTT (a popular bulletin board in Taiwan), we Angels fans often rant about the line-up. It's also a surprise that they all have some Taiwanese nickname. 以下是鄉民對天使野手的愛稱。Following are fielders' nicknames.

Fielders	Fan-given name	Explanation
Chone Figgins	Figgy, 腿姬/Leggy(Twey-gee, leggy), 腿/Legs(twey, legs), 阿腿(Ah-twey, lovely legs), Leggins, fichiro(like ichiro), Vladimir Firrero(only used when playing against Yankees), 腿哥(Twey-ge, Brother Legs), 腿爺(Twey-yay, Extremely respected legs)	對 Figgins 的愛是隨名字不同而顯現的，除了正常狀態的 Figgins 以及 Figgy。Leggins, Legs 以及 Leggy 都是不太好的狀態。隨著他的表現開始火熱，開始有了腿哥、腿爺的說法，接下來更有 Fichiro, Firrero 之類的組合名，終極火熱狀態的時候則成為了「泛用人形決戰兵器」(阿腿的本行是工具人，但是工具人又有速度所以變成超級工具人了，超級工具人又再加上打擊就成了泛用人形決戰兵器人造人類EVA簡稱泛用人形決戰兵器) (以上感謝 Levi 提供)
Gary Matthews Jr.	GMJ, GMJ*, G公(Gee-Gon, Respectful Gary), 激公(Gee-Gon, Respectful Hormone), HGH	打星號是因為在加入天使以前曾有人檢舉他有使用人類生長激素增進比賽成績，所以未來列入記錄時可能會加上＊記號。不過即使他使用了這東西，他也是在大聯盟有規範使用人類生長激素之前使用的。我們用＊的時刻還是有讚賞和羨慕他的成績的意思。Due to an incident that he alleged to have used Human growth hormone prior to the drug usage rules from MLB. The reason that sometimes we use an asterisk symbol is just that we envy his performance.
Vladimir Guerrero	Vlad, Vlady, 葛雷諾(Ge-lay-nol), 鳥滾葛(Niaw-gwen-Gwe, Ground-out Guererro), 主炮(Jwu-Pow, main fire power), Geroro(Actually pronounced as giroro)	Giroro has a lot of power in his arsenals according to "Keroro", a Japanese Anime.
Garret Anderson	GA, 大叔(Da-Sue, big uncle), 液化的膝蓋(EE-hwa-de-shi-gai, liquified knees)	反正跟年紀有關啦。/ Aging related.
Torii Hunter	獵人(Leay-Ran, hunter), 90M	滿滿的愛。(Torii 如果用日文來看是鳥居, 但是鄉民似乎還沒有人習慣這麼看) / We love you. (So far we haven't used Japanese to pronounce Torii, yet.)
Howie Kendrick	幹譙龍(Gan-Giaw-Long), 演講比賽冠軍(Ian-Jian-bi-sai-gwan-juin, speech champion), HK47, 好姨(How-ii)	He is wearing number 47, so calling him hk47 is natural. About the Gangiaulong nickname, he looks a little (just a little) like this ....
Juan Rivera	小璜/小黃(Hsiao-Hwang, little Juan)	We still love you, but don't ground out please.
Casey Kotchman	烤雞人(Kow-Chi-Ran, Kow-Chi Man)	滿滿的愛。/ We love you.
Robb Quinlan	崑蘭(Kwen-Lon), Q仔(Q-Zai, Q)	世界日報有人翻譯成金蘭... 那個記者以為大聯盟都是中國大陸來的用漢語拼音。
Mike Napoli	拿坡里(Napoli), 拿胖(Na-pon), 批薩/賣批薩(Pizza or selling pizza)	台灣來的大概都多少知道Napoli 披薩。"Napoli Pizza" is a quite famous Pizza restaurant chain in Taiwan.
Jeff Mathis	馬弟(Mar-Dee)	滿滿的愛。/ We love you.
Erick Aybar	愛拔(Ai-bar)	....
Maicer Izturis	小Izzy(Hsiao Izzy, Little Izturis), Izzy, 賣色(Mai-sir)	....
Reggie Willits	威利斯(Way-lees)	請多代替 GA 上，好嗎？
Kendry Morales	古巴人(Cuban)	此君在古巴隊時代(2003世界杯錦標賽)有痛打過中華隊喔。Simply calling him a Cuban is kinda lazy...
Sean Rodriguez	香肉(Sean-ruo)	太菜了沒梗。Just an arbitrary Chinese name that is pronouced similarly.
Former Fielders	Fan-given name	Explanation
...	...	...

Taiwanese Nicknames for LA Angels Pitchers

On PTT (a popular bulletin board in Taiwan), we Angels fans often chat with others. It's also a surprise that they all have some Taiwanese nickname. 以下是鄉民對天使投手的愛稱。Following are pitchers' nicknames.

Pitchers	Fan-given name	Explanation
John Lackey	姜蕾姬(Jiang Lay Gee), 辣雞(Lar Gee)	隨便從音近的國字找的，姜則是配合"韓國人"紅襪球迷 IronChef 的愛國心所命名。Just some arbitrary Chinese names that sound like Lackey or John Lackey.
Kelvim Escobar	交友男(Ji-ow-yo-nan, "a man good at making friends"), Myspacecobar, 愛司/愛思(Ace), 愛司扣八(Acecobar), 柯巴(Cobar)	他的 myspace 好友名單因為有著太多辣妹而遭 PTT 鄉民羨慕。愛司則是鄉民愛戴他的球風才有的愛稱。 He has a lot of HOOOOT myspace friends, that's why we call him myspacecobar or 交友男. Also we call him ace or acecobar because he looks like an ace.
Joe Saunders	桑德斯(Saunders), Hokie Joe, 桑德斯上校(Colonel Saunders), 桑同學(Saun-tone-shue, classmate saunders)	Hokie 是因為他從 Virginia Tech 畢業, 至於上校是跟 KFC 吉祥物上校同姓。 Hokie is from the name of his college virginia tech. And colonel doesn't need explanation if you know what is KFC.
Ervin Santana	小山(shiaw shan, little shan), 山同學(shan-tone-suey, classmate shan), 凸塔那(too-ta-na), 全壘打王(chuen-lay-da-won), 吸血鬼(Shee-Shey-Gwey, vampire)	凸塔那和全壘打王請在黑特的時候使用。小山和山同學則是愛稱，他剛出道的時候則有可能因為他在晚間比賽勝率高的關係叫他吸血鬼。/ Beloved name (shiaw shan or shan-tone-suey), rant name (too-ta-na, chuen-lay-da-won) and superstitious name (Shee-Shey-Gwey) are used based on Ervin's performance.
Jon Garland	嘎蘭(Gar-Lan), ㄍㄌ(Ge-le)	ㄍㄌ is only ranting his poor performance.
Jered Weaver	小公主(Hsiao-gon-joo, little princess), 織織公主(Je-Je gon-joo, princess that weaves), 織織(Je-Je, weave-weave), 威佛 cosplay	髮型和姓的直譯。不過，有時候我們會懷疑是不是 Jeff Weaver 有時候跑來假扮公主。Literally due to the name and his hair style. Also sometimes we were wondering if it was Jeff weaver pitching.
Dustin Moseley	摩斯里(Mores-lee)	太菜了沒梗。
Francisco Rodrigues	krod, 雷殘(Lay-tzan, tripping), 抖rod(Doe-rod, shaky-rod)	The names pretty much say it all.
Scot Shields	神盾(Shen-Duen, Godly shield), 抖盾(Doe-Duen, Shaky shield)	The names pretty much say it all.
Darren Oliver	奧莉薇(All-Lee-Way)	RP的梗太少。
Justin Speier	史掰兒(Spy-er)	RP的梗太少。
Chris Bootcheck	不缺課(Boo-che-ke)	太菜了沒梗。
Jose Arredondo	阿瑞同學(Ah-ray-tone-shuey)	太菜了沒梗。
Rich Thompson	豪洲人/澳洲人(Australian)	太菜了沒梗。
Former Pitchers	Fan-given name	Explanation
Bartolo Colón	摳龍(Co-long), 摳胖(Co-pon, Fat Colon), 大芒果(Da-moun-gwo, Big Mango)	The names pretty much say it all.
Paul Byrd	鳥哥(Niaw Ge, brother Bird)	The names pretty much say it all.
Kevin Gregg	阿蛋(Ah-Dan)	Something to do with the egg, no idea why.

Fire Mr. Hatcher

Because of him, almost all angels players fell in love with the ground outs. Also, he makes those players work like a bunch of windmills.
From HH:

or FIRE HATCHER........
Sign Coach Haynes.....and our offence is SET.

Previous Angels player that I miss a little: Ramon Ortiz

To be honest with you, I was kinda worried that Ervin Santana might become another R.Ortiz.
(update: It seems that my fear might come true. Check out September 24th box, and you'll know.)

Angels Clintch 2007 AL West Title

Kelvim gets a lot of hot friends.

很顯然的愛思喜歡健康的女性。

Vladimir Guerrero 完整破解（只需一頁）

From New York Times. 幕絲對付 Vladimir Guerrero 的方法跟其他人大同小異，塞三顆垃圾球，第四顆他自然因為太想揮而 SO 或是鳥滾。

記者的品格遭受編輯的踐踏（石屹軒記者）

石屹軒記者的綜合報導下了這樣低級的標題，記者的品格遭受編輯相當的踐踏，試問，我們讀者要找石屹軒，還是不具名的編輯算這筆低級新聞的帳呢？

A memorable win against the Yanks

Especially GA has a record breaking 10RBIs in a game!
Updates: Finally Angels have a 6W 3L winning record against NYY this season.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Edgardo Alfonzo

The batting average was kind of weak.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Steve Finley

Valuable lesson: don't watch DVDs on the train.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: J.C. Romero

I hate the myth that all lefty pitchers deal with lefty batters well.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: José Guillén

This person transfered his hatred from the Angels front office to the whole Angels team. Grow up, José.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Shea Hillenbrand

I was kinda hoping he would go to the yankees. Instead, he is now wearing Dodgers blue.
(update: very INTERESTING *cough* stuff about Shea.)

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Héctor Carrasco

We think Héctor Carrasco was simply over-used by the front office.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Esteban Yan

We suspect the Hanshin Tigers front office did not do their homework.

Previous Angels player that I don't miss: Jeff Weaver

Sorry, Jeff. I don't know why you were here last year. But I am happy for you that you finally come through after this year's All-star break. (Update 1: Don't get me wrong, he just didn't have enough good luck in the Angels team.)